Fresh and Salty!

Sometimes it really hurts. Not the deep pain of losing a loved one or a snide remark, but the kind of hurt that you feel when someone accidentally says something that hurts your feelings or accidentally jokes about a touchy subject. You know you shouldn't feel hurt, because there weren't malicious intentions nor were there wrong motives. It was merely an accident. Nevertheless, these things still hurt. Maybe these are worse than the other kind, I don't know. These irrational hurts are something you try to hide and ignore because they aren't something you'd EVER want to admit to the person. Well, this is something I have been continuously hurt by for months and I have chosen to ignore it out of my own sense of pride. Because I cannot admit that someone else could hurt me with something as petty as that. I am so much stronger and more secure than that, right? 

HA! Wrong.

I want to step out my comfort zone and say this: It hurts a lot. I feel like I've just been discredited completely. I feel like you acknowledge every person in your life as someone important that has done something for you, but me? No... I'm only a mere dot that gets passed over. I don't understand. I feel like I have been someone putting the sweat and tears in. I've tried to be someone you needed. I know I failed miserably, but i tried and either way put in the effort and care. 

I know it's nothing personal, but it is to me. 

Don't get me wrong, nothing I have done for you has been for the recognition or even the comments... I want nothing in return, for it was out of pure love. But, I guess it's the whole  "you're content until you see someone with something you don't have" thing.

CRAZY.
But hey, I'm just being honest.

Today was a breath of fresh air that I needed so very much. I had the opportunity to talk with two women that I love dearly and their words of encouragement meant more to me than I think they could ever realize. Words spoken that will stay with me for longer than they anticipated I'm sure, a hug that means more than they intended, and the beautiful gift of their time. 

My best analogy for the day is this: For those of you who have lived in Beaufort for awhile, you know that "Beaufort smell." The salty, fresh river smell. Only people from Beaufort know how something can be both salty and fresh at the same time!
Well, today was like being on vacation for awhile and getting back to Beaufort and stepping out of the car into that amazing smell. You just drink it in! You want it to soak into your pores and you don't realize how much you missed it until it's surrounding you.

:)