It's been awhile...

Wow, I haven't posted on here in ages. This is random but I found this poem I wrote last fall and it always strikes me. Everytime I read it I'm struck with something new I see in it... I feel like it is the most honest I've ever been. With myself, God, anyone... Kinda like the first time I was able to be completely transparent with my feelings towards something. I really enjoy it. If you don't understand it, that's okay. I have a super long explanation of it that I'll post in a day or two for those of you who care to understand.


You smile as you push forward,
My unwelcoming stare doesn't budge.
You whisper one more word as you dig in,
I look at you and ignore your struggles at my door.
Your unthinking prodding does less than you might think,
And your jabbing at open wounds is always welcome.
A glare cast into your inquiring eyes,
And my walls are hardened despite your fighting.

Soft scarlet, not too long ago, kissed my flesh,
The only picture of beauty I have left.
The trail on my skin is easy to follow,
But it leads to troubles hidden and unspoken.
You pushed and you pulled,
And you awakened my lovely desire.
Silver and scarlet become one, 
As you lost me completely.

Sweetly caressing and tenderly kissing,
You slowly pry them open as if I wouldn't notice.
I spit in your face and push your hands away,
Who are you to try and make the blood run down?
You inch towards my door that is boarded up more than ever,
You begin to kneel, and a tear falls down.
Hands placed gently on the ground in whisper,
'I never wanted to open, but merely to close them.'