You know those moments where you're not sure how or why, but you end up sitting on the bathroom floor thinking about life? Then you see an old comic book that reminds you of a story when you were little and eventually you're reminded of the not so great times you spent on this bathroom floor?
No? It's just me?
Awkward.
Well, either way, I'm having one of those nights. As I sit here I am reminded of some bad times and some good times... But what all of that reminded me of mostly, is the forgetfulness of man. We forget things all the time.
Important.
Trivial.
HAPPY.
Sad.
Events.
Memories.
Revelations.
Friends.
Kind words.
Trials.
We tend to continue on about our lives... And fail to keep things we have gone through close to us as reminders. Whether they be any of the above. Tonight as I was reminded of fond memories from my child hood I realized I had been failing to remember the good HAPPY times I had as a child. A lot of the time those memories star my brother, Brandon, whom I love more than anything. I didn't remember those things... Maybe I wouldn't have yelled at him that one time if I had recalled all the times he has done things for me... Maybe if I had recalled that time I was a jerk to God... and I deserved to be screamed at, but he warmly accepted my apology. Maybe I would've extended the same grace... If I had just remembered. How could things have changed?
Tonight also as I remembered the not-so-fond times... I realized... It's important not to forget the bad times either. Maybe if I had remembered those memories that aren't easy to recall and kept my guard up... I wouldn't have failed again in that same area that I have failed in so many times. Maybe if I didn't completely forget my failures and remembered to learn from them... I wouldn't continue to fail.
If we didn't distance ourselves so much from our problems when we associated with others... Maybe they would remember our weaknesses and not write it off as something of the past. They might even check up on you... Just maybe.
But what do I know?
I mean, I wouldn't take advice from someone sitting on a bathroom floor.
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteThese paths we walk upon are hard, especially as spirit and flesh conflict with each other. But you show wisdom and thought that most people your age neglect. Taking the good and bad times and not forgetting them. Very much like the Israelites. God showed miracle after miracle, provision after provision, yet they still grumbled against Him and worshiped other gods. Yet again and again, He still called them His beloved, His chosen.
That's who we are as children of God. His Beloved. His chosen. But we have to, like you pointed out, keep our guard up. REMEMBER the good God has done so that we will not stray from Him in the bad times.
But we also shouldn't wait for others to reach out to us when we are struggling. But we, humbly, sometimes must ask for that help. It takes a balance. People don't ask because we do distance ourselves from our problems and they no longer see it as a struggle. But we must be willing to admit it.
I say all of this because you provoked thought within me. I love you and I care. We have all been on that bathroom floor... alone, wishing someone else was there.
Bathroom floors can be a good place, especially if you see the sunshine when it's raining.
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